Awe

I am in awe of the resilience of the human heart. I thought this burden of grief was going to crush me not so very long ago. I just finished a wonderful book about grief, and it helped. Imagine that. I was able to bounce back today from my sorrow yesterday, who knows how long it will last, but right now I have some hope for the future. I have a lot of bridges to cross, and I know this journey of grief is not over, since it has been only  4.5 months since my husband died in our living room. This morning I sat in my chair across from his and was able to really enjoy playing with our two cats without breaking down.  It’s a small step in the right direction, but that’s how journeys start, so I’m told.  I can choose to believe that for this moment. So I do.

My very wise friend asked me recently to name five people who love me, and I did that without hesitation.  That’s a good practice for me every morning, and so I started it today as soon as I woke up. It gave me hope, it made me feel like I matter, and we all need that, no matter where we are in life, I think.  This is just my opinion, but it helped me to smile, and feel better. It’s all good, right now. And right now is all I have.

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